tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139770482024-03-07T10:45:57.072-08:00Slow and Moving Space WithinThe Adventures of Mondo and the Inevitable Future MachineMahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.comBlogger563125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-29008993431137074572024-01-12T06:55:00.000-08:002024-01-12T06:55:34.325-08:00<p>Buried in my blessing, confetti in my hair</p><p>A marginal extraction, a tendency to stare</p><p>I'm not much more than floating through the well-polluted air</p><p>and hoping that the clock slows down its ticking</p><p><br /></p><p>Buried in my blessing, confetti in my hair</p><p>A world of loud derision, and unproductive stares</p><p>with naught but steady failures and all lessons lingered there</p><p>as I'm praying that the truths, they are a-sticking</p><p><br /></p><p>Buried in my blessing, heading for the door</p><p>I hold a key tentatively to all that lies in store</p><p>but when I reach to turn it, it falls onto the floor</p><p>and loudly rolls away it's teeth a-clicking</p><p><br /></p><p>Buried in my blessing, thank goodness that it's me</p><p>although the steps I take don't always seem to end alee</p><p>confetti clouds my vision, to the point I cannot see</p><p>the subtle truth that all I have is exactly what I need</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-68832334733126967902024-01-12T05:21:00.000-08:002024-01-12T06:56:27.772-08:00iniquities<p>it's the winter i think</p><p>that drives me to insanity</p><p>where all the silent sureness</p><p>gets muddled in the chaos</p><p>not yet turned to order</p><p>but perhaps not far away</p><p><br /></p><p>and my clinging is rewarded</p><p>with terrifying side-eyed glances</p><p>from the women walking their dogs on the street</p><p><br /></p><p>but here, in my iniquities</p><p>i hold to that which holds me</p><p>and run from that which chases me</p><p>and grieve that which forgets me</p><p><br /></p><p>and draw another breath</p><p>for there isn't much else to do</p><p>but take the step in front of me</p><p>although it leads to nowhere</p><p><br /></p><p>where all the world is waiting</p><p>for something that has finished</p><p>for moments unrelentingly </p><p>left behind</p><p><br /></p><p>there in pangaea I will sit</p><p>a stubborn-minded dualist</p><p>only narrowly convinced</p><p>I'll make it through the day</p><p><br /></p><p>and continue on my way</p>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-11134991439122890782023-12-12T06:48:00.000-08:002023-12-12T06:48:22.978-08:00Just a Touchsee me here,<div>a drifting anarchy</div><div>reclined in my inheritance</div><div>of loss and lust and shit</div><div><br /></div><div>the tones, they swell</div><div>to reach a mythic optimism</div><div>that all will culminate</div><div>in something worth the wait</div><div><br /></div><div>but still</div><div>I run from this expository</div><div>a brazen act of denial</div><div>doing it in style</div><div><br /></div><div>for here</div><div>the symptoms are pronounced</div><div>and held up to the light</div><div>I cannot run, though I run</div><div><br /></div><div>and missing still, the firmament</div><div>driving down the darkness</div><div>though darkness is its essence</div><div>and all that it contains</div><div><br /></div><div>adrift</div><div>and ever listless</div><div>I rise in contempt</div><div>and stand, alone</div><div>until my legs grow tired</div><div>and I sit back down again</div>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-26436919789677346892023-04-26T11:12:00.004-07:002023-04-26T11:12:49.588-07:00<p> the world is cold and dark</p><p>it drags in from its cigarette</p><p>the tilted, tiled tempting</p><p>of disassociated time</p><p>and though it's all progressing</p><p>steadily on its way</p><p>there is no mistaking</p><p>the darkness in its wake</p><p><br /></p><p>so stand and be remembered</p><p>for all you have endured</p><p>the quiet of your wandering</p><p>the sharpness of the sword</p><p>for all you were is present</p><p>and all will be restored</p><p>when someday we, the waiting</p><p>recount it all in the end</p><p><br /></p><p>yes, stand here, now delivered</p><p>from the darkness and the death</p><p>the trials, tribulations</p><p>the burden you have left</p><p>and know your lilting story</p><p>will be forever sung</p><p>as it was in the beginning</p><p>once it had just begun</p><p><br /></p>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-27712409315712286632022-12-09T06:11:00.001-08:002022-12-09T06:11:35.678-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh15jhesyA3WDX026RdRfd0eh9p5TYPvinPys9buTbD5qsCoINd5dwc1QM9nm7IO0ViTKB_Be7mmWIsAXjhHw4R6fuBrzYo3cNKGrIZqY5Z--JDeiqMb9EW7-y-3AA54uYpZcQDUDyftajHpCTHoCnw8wuPaeQLDzRZ3uPeNqFWAd9M7UvuEpQ/s300/Headshot%202.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh15jhesyA3WDX026RdRfd0eh9p5TYPvinPys9buTbD5qsCoINd5dwc1QM9nm7IO0ViTKB_Be7mmWIsAXjhHw4R6fuBrzYo3cNKGrIZqY5Z--JDeiqMb9EW7-y-3AA54uYpZcQDUDyftajHpCTHoCnw8wuPaeQLDzRZ3uPeNqFWAd9M7UvuEpQ/s1600/Headshot%202.png" width="300" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> <p></p>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-20192517159261902002021-08-24T05:40:00.002-07:002021-08-24T05:40:52.448-07:00geez<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwR6D5ut9xWoe9dDG3kg_ygX3nZoeuammNhTavmho8r8eJh23fPswJ-LpL14UTaRt8VUIk2P4dMPaCu8lAGjckwjSnkK_aZhr5rgGU1EpKHWNVcHZcOoh2PUkBj9bey5eZ8VVL0g/s2048/BD33E670-5620-43C4-928D-C2C1BAA03D1E.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwR6D5ut9xWoe9dDG3kg_ygX3nZoeuammNhTavmho8r8eJh23fPswJ-LpL14UTaRt8VUIk2P4dMPaCu8lAGjckwjSnkK_aZhr5rgGU1EpKHWNVcHZcOoh2PUkBj9bey5eZ8VVL0g/s320/BD33E670-5620-43C4-928D-C2C1BAA03D1E.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>puzzling, this cayman sunset</p><p>rise and fall and live and die</p><p>we aren't so inconspicuous</p><p>as we tell ourselves we are</p><p><br /></p><p>but truth, a simple bleeding second</p><p>ignored and willed away</p><p>slipping into the neutral light</p><p>that covers over everything</p><p>truth is that no one,</p><p>not sun not sea, not you not me,</p><p>not life nor death nor ecstasy</p><p>gives a single shit</p><p><br /></p><p>and here we sit, centered</p><p>amidst the floating universe</p><p>convinced</p><p>that each breath is a miracle</p><p>each step is a milestone</p><p>each word a revelation</p><p><br /></p><p>though they fade, finite, finished</p><p>fuck all, if truth be told</p><p>which it hardly ever is</p><p><br /></p><p>they leave us behind, broken</p><p>wondering what happened to our youth</p><p><br /></p><p>back when all the world was wide and welcome</p><p>and all our moments crucial and consequential</p><p>and our bodies, now fallen to pieces</p><p>were strong, sure, ready for anything</p><p>convinced we carried the world on our backs</p><p><br /></p><p>but it was all a lie, and truth has made itself known</p><p>that all of this is failing</p><p>and soon will be no more</p><p><br /></p><p>shit, I guess its a down day today</p><p><br /></p>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-30531270241366710842021-08-09T08:15:00.003-07:002021-08-09T08:15:52.870-07:00Curses on my tongue<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAhj0Q9N0UFu8I80HHLJEvNAPR0gorGPAkdrfx8a0LZbchOL3ias8Q3a_XT4vzW8NyGiCNmJEG1MIEj5HVpB-yM-ArX7QxKvItNxz8dSOjg2DEGLjxo7UskfwDAYZNxN_GsXJllg/s2048/DEB5543B-3CAE-493E-B678-C4C8E25E4949.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAhj0Q9N0UFu8I80HHLJEvNAPR0gorGPAkdrfx8a0LZbchOL3ias8Q3a_XT4vzW8NyGiCNmJEG1MIEj5HVpB-yM-ArX7QxKvItNxz8dSOjg2DEGLjxo7UskfwDAYZNxN_GsXJllg/s320/DEB5543B-3CAE-493E-B678-C4C8E25E4949.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p></span><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-471d7877-7fff-b09c-26eb-feee473f9916"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue, existential threat</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curried fears of waning years and moments of regret</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Slave to the unknowing, all that hasn’t happened yet</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m only here to give my two weeks notice</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue Seconds of release</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Between the biting anarchy and rumors on the streets</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And now my waking moments full of air I cannot breathe</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The atmosphere is full of smoke and fire</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue hominy delayed</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve mastered all the shitty worthless games I’ve ever played</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And stand here unresponsive to the life that I have made</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Its all compounded, hungry and unwitting</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue see it to the end</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to flee, the air the sea the mysteries within</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But every step along the road, the places I have been</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They always leave me searching for the exit</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue, the limits of my hands</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know them now, the furrowed brow, the truth that I can’t stand</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t expect to ever make it back to where I’ve been</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Those smiling memories, floating in the ether</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue, hold me to the light</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A swelling sense of opulence that long left me behind</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I embrace the wandering film that covers all that’s mine</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And hope that it will pass before the winter</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue, I will not recant</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ll follow through on all I do, await another chance</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To feel a swelling silence settle there in the expanse</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That sends my empty soul somewhere misleading</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue, perhaps I may be bold</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve love and life and ecstasy at times, if truth be told</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And in those moments I can feel, my body growing old</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I walk towards the light that is awaiting</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curses on my tongue, call it by its name</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This second chance, this circumstance, it reaches through the frame</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And whispers, child feel this, and know you can’t escape</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The ever closer end that calls you onward</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For we are not alone, just seed atop a stone</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">floating through the infinite cosmos</span></p><div><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-25222712704478345752020-04-08T07:04:00.001-07:002020-04-08T07:04:13.561-07:00Thank Goodness that its Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">It begins</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The stillness of the morning, ruptured by her beckoning</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-4f17154d-7fff-920b-4a6f-5a0843af03bd" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Full of wonder and bewilderment</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Listless but full</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And she, the blossoming menagerie</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Whispers as she screams</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The song I also sing</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Thank Goodness that it’s me</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">To have, to hold, to see</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">All the mystery unfolding</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The sunshine on the sill</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The wind that shakes the trees</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The unbearable sweetness</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Of this thing I hold, her miles of morning</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Blooming, rising, calling me</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And she, the wondrous soliloquy</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Smiles as she sings</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">A verse that’s wild and free</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Thank goodness that it’s me</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">So rise, my darling</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Light and life and death and darkness</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Bundled in your tiny hands</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Your smiling face</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Your christmas striped pajamas</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Mine, my own</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">My canvas sunrise</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">My soft breeze blowing</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Ruffling this carpetbagging head of mine</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And as you wake, I steadily believe</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">That everything will end alee</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Thank goodness that it’s me</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-60717749072231702622020-03-26T19:08:00.004-07:002020-03-26T19:08:54.222-07:00Dystopian Literature quotes<span style="background-color: rgba(245, 248, 250, 0.016); color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">here's a thread with relevant quotes from old dystopian fiction. Read all these books while you're quarantined.
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” - Isaac Asimov, The Foundation (1951)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(245, 248, 250, 0.93); color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious.”
― George Orwell, 1984 (1949)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(245, 248, 250, 0.93); color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“The main business of humanity is to do a good job of being human beings," said Paul, "not to serve as appendages to machines, institutions, and systems.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano (1952)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Few travelled in these days, for, thanks to the advance of science, the earth was exactly alike all over. Rapid intercourse, from which the previous civilization had hoped so much, had ended by defeating itself...</span><br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">What was the good of going to Peking when it was just like Shrewsbury? Why return to Shrewsbury when it would all be like Peking? Men seldom moved their bodies; all unrest was concentrated in the soul.”
― E.M. Forster, The Machine Stops (1909)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">-------------</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'” -Asimov, The Foundation</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Now I no longer live in our clear, rational world; I live in the ancient nightmare world, the world of square roots of minus one.”
― Yevgeny Zamyatin, We (1924)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“After telephone, kinematograph and phonograph had replaced newspaper, book schoolmaster and letter, to live outside the range of the electric cables was to live an isolated savage.”
― H.G. Wells, The Sleeper Awakes (1921)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“To-day is the day of wealth. Wealth now is power as it never was power before—it commands earth and sea and sky. All power is for those who can handle wealth."
― H.G. Wells, The Sleeper Awakes</span>Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-61940873973871664402020-02-21T06:37:00.003-08:002020-02-21T06:37:38.352-08:00slow and moving space withinreflections, poems, archives of a slow decline that is settled on settling and has never been happierMahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-17764499412495235832020-02-21T05:47:00.000-08:002020-02-21T05:47:46.130-08:00What I miss<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I miss the silence</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To sit and see and sense</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That broken I have come, and in darkness</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To this place of noise and nonsense</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of death by distraction</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And never ending screen time</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My greatest aspiration</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When the world was dragons and lightsabers</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I was a huddled mass of potential</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I miss the infinite unknowing</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A cloud that hovered overhead</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When not knowing was sufficient</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And hope was all I had </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to hang my hat upon</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now, I am captive</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To the world at my fingertips</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To the whispers of deceit</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That tell me I am all there is</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This soiled world, small and shrinking</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Is ever mine to appropriate</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I miss it, insignificance</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Knowing beyond knowledge</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hoping beyond hope</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That I am not the means nor ends</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nor medium nor method</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just a seed on a stone</span></div>
<br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" />
<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Floating through the infinite cosmos</span></div>
</div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-31639400812437544082020-02-21T05:29:00.001-08:002020-02-21T05:29:52.050-08:00Selections from Robert ServiceBut the stars throng out in their glory<br />
and they sing of the God in man<br />
They sing of the Mighty Master<br />
Of the loom his fingers span<br />
Where a star or a soul is part of the whole<br />
And weft in the wondrous plan.Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-6800106958686445292020-02-21T05:29:00.000-08:002020-02-21T05:29:20.113-08:00I love you too<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/mondodavis/35589842812/" title="IMG_9935"><img alt="IMG_9935" height="160" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/4024/35589842812_d2a044dbc1_m.jpg" width="240" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<br />
awash<br />
tempted to despair at these mornings that should not exist<br />
wherein we sit<br />
contemplating the quickest route<br />
to blissful ignorance<br />
and the convocation of all things<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
and here<br />
in this moment of revision<br />
i read the tainted words<br />
of youth and youthful desperation<br />
calling myself into oblivion<br />
of lost love and wasted years<br />
<br />
so come<br />
as brightened and beaming<br />
settled into this settling<br />
i rise<br />
<br />
alive<br />
<br />
as she<br />
who know me deeply<br />
holds me to account<br />
for the man I truly am<br />
<br />
a light<br />
shining in the darkness<br />
she hold my hand<br />
and rubs my neck<br />
and tells me, sleepily<br />
"I love you, too"Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-88546080930254191802019-09-20T17:45:00.000-07:002019-09-20T17:45:00.017-07:00The Day that I Can Hear It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LG-b5qIFHMLAiAG0C6LqhtzI0p6ia2PGCclrSTZvHaq1GG9Elc6kC8eZBgUmFV2am-4LarN4WRGlUjWeK73WCmKuEaajuSNiAPvl1C9bVq75RDKt8LFKE-ZvC7sQNQzLJ8GTxg/s1600/DSC_0103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1064" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LG-b5qIFHMLAiAG0C6LqhtzI0p6ia2PGCclrSTZvHaq1GG9Elc6kC8eZBgUmFV2am-4LarN4WRGlUjWeK73WCmKuEaajuSNiAPvl1C9bVq75RDKt8LFKE-ZvC7sQNQzLJ8GTxg/s320/DSC_0103.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Darkness climbing walls of undeniable parity, between the confiscated rulings </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">and the indiscriminate monsters of the night. All systematic and subtle,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">as we claw and clatter towards some understanding of the terror </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">in our threadbare souls. And she crowds the corners of my </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">consciousness, the ridiculous remittance that holds me </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">at arm’s length. Cackles, calls me caustically, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">by a name I don’t call myself, except </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">when I’m honest, except when </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">the precepts and edifice </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">of my being </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">wither </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">away </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">into a haunted reality of what is and what isn’t.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-89917c7c-7fff-b206-4873-d6cdb279b77c" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">For I am no hero, no concealed weapon, no mystery. I am flesh. I am bone. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I am wandering resolution desperate for a home, but cursed </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">never to find it. And, I hold it to my chest, this indiscriminate </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">circumstance. I caress it and call it my own. But she, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">this devil well disguised, this simplistic </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">caustic carnivore, is persistent </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">in her whispers. All is lost, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">she says. All is finite </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">and fallible. You </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">will die, as you </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">have lived, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">and no </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">truth </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">can sway that momentum. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">No light can derail the darkness.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And here, in the infinite loop of my cluttered conscience, broken by the weight </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">of the depth of possibility, of potential presupposition, of chances missed, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">and chances untaken, I listen to her call. I hold it to the light. I wallow </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">in its truth that I am nothing. And here, in the deepening cavern </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">of desperation and reality, in the midst of a personalized </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">and comfortable corner of hell, I await the final verdict, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">that all is finite and fallible, that I will die </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">as I have lived.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Desperate, I whisper simple syntax, divining devastation from deliverance, praying </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">for an object of my prayers Then, as soon as the tide has taken me, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">when the hope has hollowed out, when my cancer is complete, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I hear it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The truth that I am nothing, and from nothing will I start to swell</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">As another voice, faint but founded, swirls in the silence, dances through the stillness, dips deeply into the depths of my despair.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">You. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Empathetic entity,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Monstrous mystery, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Heavenly happenstance</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Awaken within me. Speak in standards, of life and death and resurrection. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">And wait... </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">For the day that I can hear it.</span></div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-7310680601161373192019-07-29T11:40:00.002-07:002019-07-29T11:40:51.960-07:00Longing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLyAaU950JwbwQuh1kAYR6CnVY7qBhkAed8ZXOK-crBeJWOl51ONY6eAqEAFBqHH8cL4lVzX1jZZsditvucYLiQaovJ5hEdyb_wqwySBxcYpvXXy2s6qjh3ztHIuJNWxmfRdHQw/s1600/5174884403_2604c14abe_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="679" data-original-width="1024" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLyAaU950JwbwQuh1kAYR6CnVY7qBhkAed8ZXOK-crBeJWOl51ONY6eAqEAFBqHH8cL4lVzX1jZZsditvucYLiQaovJ5hEdyb_wqwySBxcYpvXXy2s6qjh3ztHIuJNWxmfRdHQw/s320/5174884403_2604c14abe_b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
To touch the wilted sky<br />
bent and unrelenting<br />
vast above the massive crest<br />
like waves coming to wash the world clean<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
and here i sit in silence<br />
tasting with a distant taste<br />
hearing with deaf ears<br />
the sprawling wilderness<br />
that must be touched<br />
smelled<br />
seen<br />
to be believed<br />
<br />
there<br />
in the ever turning silence of the wind and trees and snow and rain<br />
where death waits around every corner<br />
chomping at the bit<br />
to make all things new<br />
<br />
there in the stillness and the terrifying undertones<br />
there is where my longing reaches<br />
to pine and soil and fawn and falcon<br />
calling to my secrecy<br />
the dirt and blood on my hands<br />
<br />
whispering<br />
with unrelenting tenderness<br />
<br />
"be free"Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-50545530909112600272019-03-18T05:59:00.003-07:002019-03-18T06:01:10.792-07:00Sleep<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3KJdt0N_SutGM59kcosEzPLeYmS56fCJaUIvpsGoP1fNwr3h9j6z9nBf6gCAOUCBrgkD3FJlP6XnMAYrtaGUYnu7eqQ6iAozDasbOLhS1PIxeWhTkVgMp_gmmUwXEYxMKtFH_3Q/s1600/DSC_0114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1061" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3KJdt0N_SutGM59kcosEzPLeYmS56fCJaUIvpsGoP1fNwr3h9j6z9nBf6gCAOUCBrgkD3FJlP6XnMAYrtaGUYnu7eqQ6iAozDasbOLhS1PIxeWhTkVgMp_gmmUwXEYxMKtFH_3Q/s320/DSC_0114.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">A marked machination miles away</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">As she cries through the morning and into the day</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">As heaven and earth, both on timid display</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">They bow to her tireless wonder</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a0e575e4-7fff-9c66-2d98-c340f352ec93" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<a name='more'></a><b id="docs-internal-guid-a0e575e4-7fff-9c66-2d98-c340f352ec93" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And I am a savior of silence and sight</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">A constant reminder of whats wrong and right</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I walk from my chambers and into the light</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That laughs at my hopes for deep slumber</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">These monsters are mocking my tireless years</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">My dreams and my visions my hopes and my fears</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">To screens they’re enslaved, the voices they hear</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Whisper unnoticed abuses</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And I am a savior of cynical plight</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">An aging assumption of what’s wrong and right</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I walk to the meadow to welcome the light</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That laughs at my ill-fitted nooses</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">So hear me, my darling the morning arrives</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And asks us why we have been wasting the night</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">When sleep should have held us, ever so tight</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And relieved us of all of these questions</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">But I am a savior of fog and of haze</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">A jilted philanthropist, lost in his ways</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I walk in the shadows, and cover my face</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">To not let them see my positions</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">So come, oh nirvana, oh heavenly rays</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And shine your sweet light on my downtrodden face</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Come carry me onward to this darkened day</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And hide me so I can be sleeping</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-59046661814573588202019-03-15T04:55:00.001-07:002019-03-18T06:00:55.616-07:00The Wonder of it All<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LG-b5qIFHMLAiAG0C6LqhtzI0p6ia2PGCclrSTZvHaq1GG9Elc6kC8eZBgUmFV2am-4LarN4WRGlUjWeK73WCmKuEaajuSNiAPvl1C9bVq75RDKt8LFKE-ZvC7sQNQzLJ8GTxg/s1600/DSC_0103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1064" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LG-b5qIFHMLAiAG0C6LqhtzI0p6ia2PGCclrSTZvHaq1GG9Elc6kC8eZBgUmFV2am-4LarN4WRGlUjWeK73WCmKuEaajuSNiAPvl1C9bVq75RDKt8LFKE-ZvC7sQNQzLJ8GTxg/s320/DSC_0103.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">This intimate proposal of the wonders of my being</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">This calculated leveling</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Inches and meters and miles, swelling in controlled circulation</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Here, i rest beneath the quiet of the morning</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-ae5889de-7fff-0654-3218-c31c9f551d01" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<a name='more'></a><b id="docs-internal-guid-ae5889de-7fff-0654-3218-c31c9f551d01" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">This sensory swelling of the fate at my fingertips</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">This unburdened conjecture of what the day will hold</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">In quiet and serene reality I feel myself lost</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">In the moment</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And all there is to hold is the holding</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And all there is to taste is the taste</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Of a million flashing lights</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And downtrodden faces</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">But if</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I rise to the occasion</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And greet the morning like a friend</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Perhaps it will spare me the grief and decay</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Of waking</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">So on I trod, delivered</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">From the ideal of the night</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That all is lost and losing</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Dead and dying</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Faded, fading</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That perhaps this rising sun</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Whose Light I have forecome</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Will awaken a new truth within me</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That all is not lost</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That I, even I</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Can face its coming onslaught</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Of curses on my tongue</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And blood on my hands</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Perhaps I can rise to the occasion</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And truly see</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The wonder of it all</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The wonder of it all</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-19138014322949006832019-02-27T08:49:00.001-08:002019-03-15T04:59:03.140-07:00Trying: What I want for her, what I want for me.<span id="docs-internal-guid-b8899616-7fff-122f-881f-db03123a2aed"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">You’re a good dad. Despite whatever discrepancies I might notice in what an</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> ideal consciousness would involve, let me say that you’re a good dad. I say </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">“are” because of the present reality of your ever-evolving love and pursuit of </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">us. It’s not a textbook perfection by any means. It’s convoluted and contrived </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">at times. It’s awkward and haphazard and clumsy. But it exists, this particular</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">perfection you carry around inside of you. You try. That’s the core of it. You try. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">You try to be something, to express something, to hold something to the light </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and call it what it is. Be that pride, or love, or expectation, or disappointment, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">or understanding. You walk towards the creative expression of what you feel. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And, this stands out in the face of your reality; jilted and underdeveloped, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">lacking vulnerable role models to show you how to love yourself and through</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">self-love to love those around you. Your world was dogmatic and liturgic, with </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">no value to be placed on honesty or transparency. I didn’t learn those from you, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">as the world tells me I should have. You never taught me to emerge from the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">shadows. You never taught me to truly see myself as I am, or to let that self be</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">seen unashamedly. I learned to hide and run and build walls, mostly from your</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">running and hiding and walls. That has been my growing up, undoing that which </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">was done. But through all of it, you were there, trying your hardest, working with </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">your hands and the raw materials you were given, imperfect as they were. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">You tried. And in your trying I learned something. I learned that people could</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">be loved. I learned that that love is worth working for. I learned that love is</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">manifest in presence, agenda-free, non-utilitarian presence. I learned that </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">we all work with the raw materials we’ve been given, until we discover that </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">those raw materials are incomplete, and we go to find new materials to work </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">with. That which you were given were ideal for building walls and saving face. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">But, now in the setting of the sun, you try. You try to start over. You try to dig </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">deeper. You try to communicate that your love is part of you, that it coexists </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">with your fear and your failure and your doubts. It coexists with the ugliness of</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">being, the stains on your hands, the convictions of your murder trials. It is there. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And you try to let it out, let it all be seen. And, in complete honesty, you’re </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">terrible at it. But, you’re getting better. And that’s why you’re a good dad. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Because it’s worth it to you to get better. It’s worth the tears and the pain and </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the awkward conversations to show your scars and let them thus be redeemed.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And what it says to me, to us, is that we are loved. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That’s why you’re a good dad. </span></div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-90830495463185840992019-02-19T05:36:00.000-08:002019-02-19T05:36:19.814-08:00ProductivityProductivity is a peculiar thing. It's a simple shift of approach. I spend hours reading news headlines or scrolling through social media feeds, but the time spent doing such always feels wasted. Reading, writing, creating, or fulfilling those pesky responsibilities that pile up always feels more satisfying to me. It's like I have this enormous potential, as we all do, to build something worth building, but that potential is squandered away as we watch youtube videos and play video games. It's no wonder the world seems so despondent and hostile, it's full of people that are wasting their potential on mediums that don't bring them any satisfaction.<br />
I'd like to commit to productivity, but I know how it will go. I'll have a good couple of days where I get a lot of things done, motivated by the ecstasy of productivity, rewarded by its rewards. But then I'll slink back into focused isolation, distracting myself from the reality of my lack of access. I'll run to screens and sleep and things to consume and end up back where I started.<br />
But, what the hell. Let's give it a try.Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-50499302770579014112019-02-19T05:34:00.000-08:002019-02-19T05:34:05.596-08:00I'll miss this place after I goI'll miss this place, after I go<br />
all frozen in the summer snow<br />
as howling wind, relentless blows<br />
chattering my teeth<br />
<br />
I'll miss this place, after I leave<br />
as oceans swell and mountains sink<br />
and everyday's like Christmas Eve<br />
set waiting for the dawn<br />
<br />
I'll miss it, as her glory fades<br />
as rolling, tumbling on my way<br />
I stand alone, and try to say<br />
we knew it all along<br />
<br />
I'll miss this place, all said and done<br />
when winter reigns, and spring unsprung<br />
makes wake of all that we've become<br />
awash in fading dreams<br />
<br />
I'll miss this place, will it miss me<br />
a vagabond, doomed to be free<br />
to live with no one else but me<br />
to pat me on my back<br />
<br />
And if the wind still softly blows<br />
and if the trees and grass and snow<br />
become all that there is to know<br />
only then will we be free<br />
to live accordingly<br />
as ancient memoryMahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-32345493712825216392019-02-08T14:18:00.000-08:002019-02-08T14:18:29.947-08:00Plea for Admission, or what I was really thinking at the timeSummer's lost momentum as the day slips into night<br />
I take a sip of coffee as I memorize my lines as it all unwinds<br />
Oh, Lord won't you let me make it through the night<br />
Oh, Lord won't you let me make it through the night<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've taken to my rambling in hopes to clear my mind</div>
<div>
and when I get to heaven I'll tell God I've done my time on the railroad lines</div>
<div>
Oh Lord won't you let me wander on inside</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am falling</div>
<div>
I am falling into space</div>
<div>
As I'm fighting to be free from what is chasing me</div>
<div>
but it's me</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Everyone is beautiful, everyone but me</div>
<div>
"cause when I look within myself isn't hard to see the iniquity.</div>
<div>
Lord won't you help me shake these chains from me</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Stars are something sacred as I bathe beneath their light</div>
<div>
Let it wash right over me as I shout into the night, something's not right</div>
<div>
Oh Lord won't you help me put up a better fight</div>
<div>
<div>
Oh Lord won't you help me put up a better fight</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am falling</div>
<div>
I am falling in to space</div>
<div>
I am fighting</div>
<div>
I am fighting to save face</div>
<div>
As I'm running</div>
<div>
to be free from what is chasing me</div>
<div>
but it's just me</div>
Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-5356716873454688212019-02-08T14:11:00.002-08:002019-02-08T14:11:32.388-08:00Serenade, or postcards from the isolates, or Yay! Patriarchy!Sun sets low, sings a silent serenade<br />
Treetops glow, set to dive on the grenade<br />
Fortune fades, sets my heart to wander lost<br />
Speak my name, in a language I've forgotten<br />
<br />
Sun, sun, stay right where you are<br />
as I succumb to my thinly-veiled scars<br />
<br />
Walk with me, there's so much more to say<br />
Or let it be, and those feelings waste away<br />
We're okay if we tell ourselves we are<br />
But, I've yet to say it but I'm leaving.<br />
<br />
Oh, sun, sun, stay right where you are<br />
as I succumb to my thinly-veiled scars<br />
<br />
We anticipate salvation<br />
We are looking to the skies<br />
We abandon superstitions<br />
but we have no compromiseMahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-52173146215870339182019-01-23T09:51:00.002-08:002019-01-23T10:01:29.140-08:00Photo Negatives<span style="font-family: inherit;">While I was at home this weekend, I caught a glimpse of my father's Facebook feed. First off, I have tremendous respect for my father. He grew up in a very specific cultural context, and has political opinions that reflect his cultural and contextual acquisition, as well as the breadth of his life experience. He and my mother raised me to ask questions, seek answers, and draw my own conclusions, but to always respect other people, even if their opinions are different than my own. While many of my father's political opinions differ than my own, I am grateful for both him and for the experiences that have shaped his life and his understanding of the world.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A couple of times now, he has brought up Antifa in our conversations. Our conversations are never politically charged, but political topics do tend to arise every now and then. I have thought it odd that he would bring up Antifa, a fringe group of political extremists that I have never paid much mind to since they are seemingly small and have unhealthy approaches to political dialogue. But, I have seen enough of them and their practices to know that they are in no way a fair representation of the majority of politically progressive thinkers or voters. Essentially, I haven't paid them any mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Not so for my father. He seems to think that they are a threat, that their existence and prominence is both frightening and indicative of a violent shift in political discourse in this country. To them, they represent the political Left, and must be feared, denounced, and rejected at all costs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #14171a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, as I had wondered about this significant disconnect of consciousness and awareness, I saw my conservative dad's FB feed this week. His feed showed all the same stories that mine showed, but with the exact opposite conclusions about who was right & who was wrong. One example was the story of the catholic boys' interaction with the native american elder in DC last week. I won't go into the details, but the version of the story that I read painted them as violent, </span></span><span style="color: #14171a;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;">privileged</span></span><span style="color: #14171a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> racists who went out of their way to attack a sacred Native American ceremony. What I saw on my father's Facebook feed, however, told a different story. They were passionate, pro-life children that were in DC to stand up for their beliefs in the sanctity of life, and were targeted and exploited by a media frenzy that turned a harmless interaction into a conspiracy of hatred and white supremacy. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #14171a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #14171a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was surprised to see my father's version of the story. In truth, I didn't know anything about what actually happened. I read the headlines and saw the video clips and photos that I had access to and drew my own conclusion that these boys were bad people. So, how could my father see that same story and draw the opposite conclusion? It blew my mind. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The easiest thing to do would have been to assume my father was a racist, that he was a minority-hating conservative that thought that white kids like these should be able to do or say whatever they want, regardless of the impact of their words or actions. But, I knew that wasn't true about my dad. So, I decided to figure it out. How could we draw such completely different conclusions about the same story? I watched the full-length video and concluded that both my version and my father's version were incomplete. Both versions had been manipulated and stylized to fit the narrative that we wanted to believe. From his perspective, the boys were good people. From mine, the boys were bad people. But those perspectives were formed using stylized and manipulated information. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, here's where the major issue arises. How did we get such different versions of the same story? Obviously, biased reporting has always existed. But, when all of our access to information is filtered to reinforce our bias, then we will never develop any understanding for the other side. I will never see those boys as caught in the middle of controversy that they don't deserve to be in. He will never see those boys as racists or insensitive. And, that's just that. The algorithms are set up so that this doesn't change. As long as we are being presented with opportunities to click on links of news stories that justify or reinforce our own worldviews, the marketing companies generate more traffic for their clients who only want to sell us shoes or cruises or diaper bags. It's all about traffic. So, we're stuck in this fragmented reality that we can't climb out of where the people you believe to be the good guys will always be the good guys and those you think are bad will always be bad.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.27px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The problem, is that if I believe Nancy Pelosi is a horrible person that wants to destroy my way of life, how can I reconcile a democratic voter who believes her to be an excellent political leader and policy maker? I can't. If she's the devil, democrats are demons. And that's that. If I don't have access to the other side, I'm always right and anyone who disagrees with me is always wrong.</span><br />
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So, What do we do? I don't know, nor am I qualified to make a decision about how to fix the problem of algorithms on social media. But, I think I'm through having opinions. I think that if I want to believe something, I had better find a source of information that isn't trying to sell me health insurance. I believe that my dad is a good man, and if I want to understand him I have to submit to the truth that I know nothing. Maybe he's right. I will decide for myself, but not before I know the facts, as best as they can be known. Let's try that for a bit.Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-42179390068767647252019-01-23T09:08:00.001-08:002019-01-23T09:08:26.413-08:00Walls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This weekend we traveled back home to St. Louis to see my family and to celebrate my daughter's 1st birthday. It's a peculiar experience, traveling home for the weekend. I haven't lived anywhere near my parents for 15 years now, and though I see them several times a year, our visits are always short, lasting only a few days at a time. <br />
<a name='more'></a>It's odd, having a lifetime of experience and conversation and emotional engagement packaged into 48 hours. There's an underlying swell of fragmentation, as we have to pick and choose what to talk about, or decide on experiences that will be the most memorable, since it's the only opportunity we have to share an experience. I've become saddened by the reality of returning home under these circumstances and in this context, and have missed the days of my youth, where I could co-exist with my family in a meaningful relationship. Granted, I didn't appreciate it when it was my reality, but I find myself smiling fondly about comments my mother makes about how I've always been this way, or about how I was when I was younger. I love that I'm known when I go home and I wish that knowing would last longer than it ever does. The solution would be to move back home and live near my family so that we could see each other with some regularity and not have to cram our relational experience into plane rides to and from the airport or choppy video conferences. But I know that living in St. Louis would be entirely different than it was. Proximity to my family would probably become mundane and unexciting. We would see them every few weeks, in contexts that feel similar to what they are now. We would be rushed by our obligations to soccer practice or church or piano lessons. The comfort and completion of home mostly only exists in my head now. I mourn over my forfeiture of home. That mourning somehow coexists with my satisfaction over where my life is currently. I am content to be a husband and a father and a teacher and all of the things that I am. But there is a subtle groaning to be known and understood by more than just my wife, who does know and understand me as intimately as anyone in my life ever has. I don't know, I long for that feeling and hold up "home" as the answer, as I always have while simultaneously knowing that it's a lie I tell myself that I have to be somewhere specific or with specific people for it to be possible. It speaks of something deeper, though; a deeper darkness that has taken root within me. The walls that I have constructed around myself to keep others out have been effective, and I'm facing their accumulating consequences. The work of tearing those walls down, being vulnerable, taking real interest in the people around me without fear of being exposed for what I'm hiding, is what must come. But, when I'm home, my parents and my sister and brother know what lies beyond those walls. They have seen me before I constructed the walls that now obstruct their view. I can experience the knowing without the work of deconstructing my walls. And, I suppose that's what I really crave--not having to do the labor that lies ahead of me. It's labor that I, if I'm being honest, have no idea how to do anyway. But it must be done, home or not, and thus I must try. I'll let you know how it goes.Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977048.post-23136053434808309172019-01-23T08:38:00.001-08:002019-01-23T10:01:43.654-08:00See how long it lastsThe great challenge of writing for is mostly an issue of competition. I like to write, but the time that it takes to do so and to do it well usually drives me to instead play video games or browse amazon for board games on sale (I like board games). But, it's a new year and that means that we tend to make decisions about what we want for ourselves in this new year to come. <br />
<a name='more'></a>One thing I have decided that I want for myself is to be more productive. The nature of that productivity could basically be summed up in what I did yesterday. I hid my xbox games from myself. I took them off of the shelf, closed my eyes, randomly removed several books from my bookshelf, and placed one disc in each book. Then, with my eyes still closed, I placed those books on the shelf. My fear of stillness, under developed self-control. lacking work ethic, and penchant for replacement experiences like TV or electronic gaming have beaten out of me the idea that I can choose to be productive. Productivity must be chosen for me. Now that I'm a father, balancing my time between creating what I wish to create and getting to know my infant daughter becomes a lot harder when I acquiesce to the voice that calls me to sit down in front of a screen and check out. So, hello to 2019; a year in which the world continues to fall to pieces. I promise myself nothing, but that I am only capable of reaching that for which I actually reach. I will see how it goes.Mahndohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12267652503696998557noreply@blogger.com0