Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Impending Doom

I've hit a wall. Flamenco, Spanish Hip Hop, Mountains, Basque Country, Bullfights, Madrid, El Greco, Barcelona, Al-Ahmbra, Galicia, Wine, Soccer, Towers, Castles, and people and people and people. After three months, this country is still a complete mystery to me. Poverty keeps me grounded. Responsibility keeps me busy. There's so much left undone here in Spain. This time has flown by, and while there are still three weeks ahead of me, there is well more than three weeks worth of experience to be had. This weekend is London. Next weekend is Madrid. The following weekend is free but soon to fill. And then, that half dreaded/half revered day when I return to all that awaits me back home. Don't get me wrong, my waiting family, my old and blossoming friendships, my work and studies and church and future are all entirely appealing and stir within me feelings of excitement that I get to participate in them. But, there's so much here to know. I want to be able to play the guitar like a flamenco expert. I want to sing songs on top of mountains and cathedrals. I want to sit in front of Velasquez and study the details of truth that made it onto his canvases. I want to know Spain and to know her well. There is life here. There is truth here. And, the difference of perspective makes it all the more beautiful to me. I suppose that leaving Spain with a certain sense of mystery and wonder will only strengthen my love and affinity for this place. So, it's a bittersweet thought to say the least.
So thus must Spain be left, as I prepare myself to say goodbye, and try to run my fingers through as much of her as I can in the coming weeks. It's a beautiful place where Jesus shines through the darkness of this culture that rejects him. And, it is alive though it does not know it. That alone makes Spain beautiful. The rest is added bonus. I think that I shall be back someday…

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