I write this to present a problem and to be accountable for it. I've seen hours of my life wasted away into nothing. I get into these ritualistic cycles in which I engage in this deplorable activity that picks away at the scars of my flaccid counter-productivity. Apathetic and disengaged, I dive head-first into my depravity. My attitude falters, and all I see is meaningless. My days are short and worthless, with the majority of my time lost to this unimpressive habit. Frustration with the people around me; depression wins out as my primary reactive state when I observe the inconsistencies and lack of enthusiasm of this world that I come to despise. I see myself as useless, unproductive and unnecessary. All seems lost, and getting out of bed becomes a burden I cannot manage. The Kingdom within me lies stagnant, withering away like a neglected houseplant, desperate for water. Consistently, I neglect my spirit within. And, it kills me over and over.
So, I'm letting it go. I'm walking away. I'm standing up tall and proclaiming my freedom, my kinship, my belovedness. I am shouting at the top of my lungs, that I am free and free shall I remain. Walk tall, proud stripling, you overreaching boyish thing. Stand up straight and be free.
All that to say: computer games are the devil.